Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Woman At Dinner

A couple of nights ago we went to dinner. There were two at our table. At a table in my direct view at a round table there were five. A mother, facing me, her daughter which would be to my left, another woman with her back to me, that woman's daughter sitting close to her also with her back to me and a young girl of about 5 years old dancing around the table and all over the place. I would guess the age of the women to be in their late 20's or mid 30's. The two girls looked to be about 8-11 years old.

I noticed the table because of the raised voice and because of the younger girls' behavior. She was constantly moving and they never asked her to stop. Perhaps that is because they were so busy talking they did not have one single minute to give attention to her. The girl that was to the left was sitting several chairs removed from everyone else at the table. She never spoke and she seemed as if she wished she could disappear.

Since I could hear every word I think I can figure out why.

Her mother was discussing the girls' father. On and on she went talking to the other little girl about her daughter's dad and about how he had no time for her. The other little girl apparently had a cell phone with a camera in it. Well, she proceeded to pull HER cell phone out of her purse and announce "do you know what this phone does? It rings and it has a button to push to answer it, which is all you need on a phone. It's for talking!" Then she began to tell the girl that HER daughter wished she had the attention that her father paid to her but her daughters' dad didn't have time to waste on her, he never called, didn't spend any money on her and just didn't care. So she should be glad her dad cared about her, but to remember that the material things don't matter so don't be fooled into thinking that just because he buys her things doesn't mean he loves her.

Well, buy this time I was just seething! I couldn't imagine that this woman was just sitting in a restaurant talking about this at the top of her voice. But the worst CRIME of all was the look on her daughters face! The girl was so disengaged! She looked as if she wanted to dig a hole and crawl in the floor. I literally wanted to go over to the table and give her a hug. She still never uttered a word. She just stared into space. And the younger girl still danced a jig. As I stared, she began to notice me looking. Around this time I began to not care if I was polite so I stopped looking away. I actually wanted her to realize she was being looked at. Perhaps she needed to know that what she was doing was being noticed. As the meal progressed she then begin to describe how this girls father had grabbed her (the mother) by the arm and jerked her around and left bruises on her and then threw her on the floor. Once that was said all pretense of not staring went out the window. I just stared her down. She announced to the other woman that "our conversation must be pretty loud because people are looking at us". Gee, do 'ya think?
Finally the torment ended and the unhappy soul left the table. Unfortunately, her daughter had to go with her, more than likely headed for more verbal abuse.

For the life of me I can not understand why some parents hurl insults in their children's faces. No matter your thoughts on your ex-spouse or someone else's parent it is still their parent. You DON'T talk bad about someone's parent. Period. It's just not done. When you do you are attacking HALF of them. You are attacking the person who made part of them. If we as the adult can not control ourselves how can we ever ask our children to do so? The look on a childs face when one talks bad about their parent or the things that have gone wrong in their family life should be enough to make one shut their fucking mouth.

It's been days and I still think of this girl.

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